|
blueeyed.handsomeman 6:34 Sun Mar 27
memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
|
the one thing that was said to me is
'is it in yet'.
name your own, if your brave enough
|
|
|
Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
WHUDeano
3:57 Mon Apr 4
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
Made me chuckle reading this, got many I could add, but one in particular springs to mind....
Greek Islands, many years ago...after getting a fondle outside, a crazy drunken Irish girl dragged me back to her room, and while 'shusshhhh"ing me, then strangely pulled me into the toilet rather than the bed...
"Fist me"
Being a fairly inexperienced young lad, I was a bit taken aback by this request.
"Fist me" She repeated. Then whispered "We need to be quiet. Can't wake me girlfriend, she's a pyscho and she'll definitely kill you. Now fist me!"
|
Admiral Lard
2:23 Mon Apr 4
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
In my humble experience few things will beat "Fuck my puckered hole!"
|
martinbritt_63
1:17 Mon Apr 4
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
Manhattan 1981
As an Englishman in NY at that time, if you couldn't get laid you might as well hang it up.
A young, petite piece named Phyllis (yeah really) told me "You're one great fucking lay !" - and she came back for more (& more) so I can only assume she was sincere.
Happy Days !
|
Joe C
11:47 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
In 2005, not long out of a long term relationship, I was out with some of the West Ham boys in The Light Bar and met a girl called Jeanette. She was the living embodiment of mental birds being the best shag - and it turned out she was totally mental.
Upon reflection, I should have read the warning signs when almost the first thing she said when we were getting down to it was “Never ask to stick it in my arse, just do it”
Followed up a little while later when she stopped what she was doing, looked me dead in the eyes and said “I swear to god, if you finish before I tell you to, I’ll rip your balls off with my teeth” - then a minute or so later she was yelling “Finish now! On my face! NOW! NOW! NOW!” while seemingly trying to yank my old chap off with her hand.
That was a pretty intense month or so, but great fun (mostly). I introduced Skerrit (for those that remember him) to her equally mental best mate one night - 17 years later he still thanks me for it, and that bloke was a legendary swordsman
|
Eerie Descent
9:18 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
Queens Fish Bar 9:01 Sun Apr 3
Tell her to lay off the packet.
|
gph
9:12 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
Zeus might have had some things to say on this thread.
Like:
"Why am I fucking this swan?"
"Why am I fucking this ant?"
"Why am I fucking this suspiciously-coloured rain?"
"Why am I fucking this pigeon?"
|
Queens Fish Bar
9:01 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
my jaw is aching.
|
MrTrentReznor
8:53 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
The following morning I was asked 'Do you know my name?'
Hadn't a clue.
What followed was a brief name guessing game.
First guess was 'Mary'.
She said her name started with 'L'.
I said 'Louise'.
That was wrong.
Couldn't think of another girls name starting with 'L' so just gave up.
She ordered a taxi immediately.
Technically not in the spirit of the thread as it occurred after the fact.
In my defence I had loads of drink on board & hadn't eaten all day.
However, without seeking my acquiescence she went to a drawer in her bedroom & opened a battery operated vibrator from it's packaging & proceeded to work on the parts the boss couldn't oversee.
Mates of mine have advised to leave out the vibrator stuff when retelling this tale.
Maybe I should.
|
The Fonz
8:41 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
Are you awake?
I sometimes have sex in my sleep
|
Troy McClure
7:24 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
A few spring to mind…
Can you take your finger out of my arsehole?
Emma D
Take my ankles…no go balls deep
Karen N
I bet you won’t give a shit about me tomorrow
Anon
|
Leatherhead Hammer
7:10 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
"Oh my God. Its true what they say about black men. you're huge"
*Warning. The above state ment may be a load of fucking bollocks
|
MrTrentReznor
3:35 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
Mate of mine was once advised to "Lob it in there, boss".
|
blueeyed.handsomeman
12:03 Sun Apr 3
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
thats a nice big one youve posted there mr coffee,dont need to tell us yous sauce
|
Coffee
2:35 Sat Apr 2
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
Many years ago, I stayed in a cheap hotel in Calcutta for months. IT was a desperate place and everything about it gave an impression of neglect. What had once been a large first floor chamber had been divided into individual rooms by wafer-thin, floor to ceiling plywood painted in glossy beige. My neighbour was Paul, who was researching a book. We had spoken a few times and, while chatting over a cup of chai at a tea stall one afternoon, he mentioned that his girlfriend would be arriving the following day from Tokyo. He hadn’t seen her for two months and was excited at the prospect of welcoming her to Calcutta.
The next night, I had just fallen asleep when the plywood wall next to me started moving impressively. I awoke in some panic, thinking there to be an earthquake. But the true cause quickly revealed itself to be rather more prosaic. I lay in bed with no choice but to listen, not without amusement, as Paul and his girlfriend made up for lost time in the next room. After a while, I fell asleep again only to be woken once more a couple of hours later by an encore. I wondered if I should make a noise, a gentle indication that their privacy was compromised, but decided that would be rude.
Later the next night they were at it once more with no discernible reduction in intensity or volume. This time, it included an ex-post evaluation that would have been moderately entertaining had it not been so intrusive. I cleared my throat loudly.
By the fourth consecutive night of reduced sleep, their frolicking had become anything but funny. I had tried several ways of communicating with face-saving subtlety that their every aah and post-coital conference was being shared. Clearing the throat. Coughing, then again, louder. On the fifth night, I turned my alarm clock on at approximately the midway point, holding it beside the wall and letting it beep urgently for a few seconds. But even that did not diminish the fevered passion playing out yet again just inches away. The next day, another resident complained that some idiot’s alarm clock had gone off in the middle of the night. It had woken her and prevented her from returning to sleep for two hours. I said I had not heard it, but my eyes were drooping by lunchtime and I was fatigued and increasingly irritated. The time for subtlety was over, so that night I waited until the evaluation was underway.
“Mmm, that was so good,” she purred, a contented smile in her voice.
“Oh, it was.”
I lay there, waiting. There were more sweet nothings and relaxed groans.
Then, with great tenderness, Paul asked, as he always did, “Did you come?”
This was the moment.
“No, I bloody well didn’t! Now shut up and go to sleep!”
The girlfriend gasped.
He said, “Oh.”
It was all he said. It was all either of them said. A stray cat meowed on the road outside. I allowed myself a brief smile and soon drifted into an overdue, undisrupted sleep.
|
Gary Strodders shank
2:30 Sat Apr 2
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
"Do it the other way like really hard like uncle Paul like"
It put me right of ny stroke i couldn't finish the job and she accused me of having a problem!
I was 15 at the time on holiday in Benidorm and she was of similar age from Lincolnshire
She was there with a whole load of extended family including Uncle Paul who incidentally spent most of the holiday wearing an Ipswich Town shirt (circa Paul Mariner) and had a back perm.
I gave them a wide birth after and hooked up with a girl from Croydon who seemed quite normal in comparison
I now view people from that part of the world with a degree of suspicion and indeed Ipswich Town supporters.
|
arsene york-hunt
2:25 Sat Apr 2
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
I can't stand all that groaning and screaming during sex, and all that shouting yes! Yes Yes! you're the best! I get fed up listening to it.
|
Coffee
1:52 Sat Apr 2
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
Maybe apple would have been a better choice of pi.
|
gph
1:40 Sat Apr 2
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
OK, Eulerdmit it
|
jooliandix
1:39 Sat Apr 2
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
It's like a penis,only smaller.......
|
Coffee
4:58 Sat Apr 2
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
That's a porkie.
|
gph
4:17 Sat Apr 2
Re: memorable things said to you during sexual activity
|
3.14159265
Well, I've never forgotten it.
|
|
|
|
